So boring

Today I am home, not tired enough to sleep yet, but not bold enough to go out on my own.

For the first time in a long while I have access to a car, which is quite nice. While it is still damp from the shampooing (and it is raining, so it may stay so for a while, ) and the heat and defroster don't work, at least it is working. That is certainly good news. And I have the key in my pocket. It is clean, it smells nice and it runs well. I don't know what more I could ask for.
Aside from dry seats and windows out of which I can see. And it has almost no gas, but that's the way my parents drive, I think. They let the car get to a dangerously low level, then put five bucks in.
But damp seats and no heat are better than nothing. I wonder if I could just put a space heater in there for an hour or two and see if that doesn't dry the thing out.

But even if the van were set to drive, I don't really have anywhere to drive it. That's kind of sad.

And while I have pretty universal access to it, it isn't MINE. I know that based on the cost it has imposed on my parents since they inherited it, I am better off without it, I think that it is weird that after being promised to me it was given to them.

I don't know. I want a car I can bumper-sticker, a car in which I can smoke, a car that is mine. I guess that had it been given to me, it would just be sitting there, still full of trash, still unable to move, still unlicenced.

I guess the whole "It's ours but you can use it any time at all" thing just bothers me because of the inevitable parent, offspring power struggle that results from adulthood.

I still don't know if it will still be mine to use when I move.